On the Interment of my Mother
I owe a huge debt of gratitude and love to my mother and father.
My lovely mother quietly passed away at the beginning of this year.
She felt her time had come and wanted to tarry no more.
She’d outlived two husbands and being a person whose life purpose seemed to be as a loving wife and mother, she was lonely and missed her men.
She was always, quite literally “the other half”
You’ll never meet a more gentle woman, in every sense.
Sure, there were moments when her temper might fray with the children, I’m certainly not claiming she was a saint!
All of us who have been parents know the exasperation children can cause from time to time.
The debt I owe her, and my lovely father, came about in December of Nineteen Sixty-Two when they decided to adopt me.
It’s an astonishing thing to do, to take in somebody-else’s child.
She had had an issue, where the doctors had suggested a further child could be dangerous.
Normally, that would have been enough to stop with one’s three children, but clearly something was missing in my Mum’s life. I turned out to be the answer.
So, shortly, we close the circle and inter her ashes beside her first beloved husband Bill.
Moments in life like this offer the opportunity to consider the past.
Life is a never-ending stream of “events.”
As each event is happening, we have a choice to make. How will we respond to it?
As I write, it’s gently raining outside.
I have a choice, I can decide that the rain is a pain, and that I’m going to feel pissed off!
Conversely, I have my waterproofs, my journey home is short, nobody’s died! I might even enjoy the fresh rain on my face!
Every moment in life has the opportunity to make a mark on you.
The question is “will you let it?” — You don’t have to if you don’t want to..
(In a past in a rather fiery relationship, I used to say to my partner, “Choose NOT to be upset by this..”)
It’s remarkable when we see the truth of this.
Society dictates that I should be upset or my personal moral compass dictates that I should be upset… but do I need to waste my life energy following that thread again?
This moment in time, also askes me to consider my own mortality.
Do you remember the moment before you woke up this morning?
I genuinely believe that death is the cessation of the flow of time.
We are pure consciousness, but we have been given these “meaty” vehicles to navigate this game of Life. I honestly feel that when the expiry date comes up for my “Meat suit,” that my consciousness will continue to exist, but that the experience of time will stop.
In terms of my beautiful father, I was able to experience him, long after he passed. (I have blogged extensively about this, in past stories..)
My mother’s energy is in some ways less clear, and at once more encompassing.
It feels like an influence that will always hold and gently guide me.
The last question is “how should I respond to her passing?”
This life event was what it was.
Something natural, and in perfect time.
There was no dramatic need for a gnashing of teeth and a wailing from the roof tops.
As in life, her passing was quiet and calm.
I understand that everything is in its place, and therefore I’m happy.
That’s not to say that I don’t miss her every day.
That is the essence of growing up — realising that for me this will come to pass too.. and that be it soon or much later (all the Qigong I do, I’m really hoping for “MUCH later!”) it’ll be right and proper.
As I close, a ray of sunshine breaks through the clouds and illuminates the room.
I’d just ask that you look at everything that happens, and see it for what it really is.
The unkind comment, made because the speaker is deeply unhappy, and which has nothing to do with you..
The stroke of “Bad luck” that taken with the hindsight of a few months can then be seen as a very lucky break.
We put our judgement on thing so often.
We use our “Old patterns” to evaluate every event as “Good or Bad”
If you take nothing personally and if you choose to flow, rather than fight life’s events, then life will seem happier and fairer — who would want that!?
I offer you this perspective, driven by my introspection, with love.
I’ve long stopped rowing up the river, or pushing stones up hills.. I suggest you do to!
See the twists and turns for what they really are, and glide by unscathed!
Love, love, love…always love.